Monday, February 22, 2016

Keeping up

You have set a goal and you are ready to take the steps to achieve it; however just when you think you are making progress all the negative influences start to surface.  Think about it and take a look around you  How many times have you heard: "True weight loss can only happen if you use THIS system, do this or eat THAT"? Sadly, it's not just about dieting or weight loss; it's about LIFE! Life refuses to accept you socially unless you fit into it's mold. I live in a small town where EVERYONE goes to the Y,  there is a church on EVERY street corner, every parent sends their little to the SAME preschool, and go to the SAME dance studio.  When the question: "Where does your child go?", is asked it's like their are waiting for the "politically correct" answer and if it's not it, then well we all feel shunned.  My only response to this is, WHY? Why as a society do we have to force people into a mold where we automatically set them up for failure? If you look around it's not survival of the fittest it's actually survival of the "finest" and as a Child  growing up and even as an adult I was NEVER one to "fit" into any mold that was asked of me and I never will.  Call it a personality trait or sense of will, but I think trying to fit in society's mold is like attempting to be someone that you weren't created for.  This brings me back to my original question, why? Why are we so insistent on "keeping up with the Jone's" instead of focusing on the journey that our maker has called us to do.  Why do we feel the need to push the stigma that SIZE maters instead of focusing on just getting healthy.  If our society keeps on insisting on playing "Keeping up with the Jone's" life in ALL it's originality will have no point.  Life isn't about "Keeping Up" it's about living, being your self, pushing yourself beyond what you can do.  The question is: "Who's life are YOU going to live?"

Saturday, July 4, 2015 it worth it???

Change, sometimes that can be a difficult word.  Some times as humans we be come so comfortable with the surroundings around us that when asked to change it's like going to the dentist.  I mean really who shows up to the dentist begging for a tooth to be pulled or better yet asking to be put in a situation makes us uncomfortable? I mean if we had our choice we would stay in the most comfortable situations as long as we could...;however change is a part of nature and with it comes pain which leads to GROWTH.  As a mom of three rambunctious children I am all too familiar with change; from the changing of under ware, to changing a routine.  Life was always a roller coaster of ups, downs and in-between.  As a child I wasn't always acceptable to change.  In fact I often found myself thrown into a spiral if change was often difficult.  It wasn't until I was getting married the first time that I found out that I had F.A.S. (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome) The funny thing about diseases, disorders or any other ailments is that we can either allow it to define us or build us up.  I chose the first.  For years I allowed F.A.S. to define the person who I thought I was. It not only affected me physically but emotionally as well.  It cost me relationships with friends, family and sometimes employment.  It wasn't until recently that I hit a break through. Several months ago our insurance made the decision that they were no longer going to cover my "mental" health medication and believe me I was on like three of them.  The catch was that until I reached a ridiculous deductible that they weren't going to cover for them and I would have to pay out of pocket.  After finding out about this bit of news I literally panicked.  Actually panic wasn't the word I would choose but it is the best word for the moment.  All I kept thinking was, how was I going to survive? I had three children to take care of, a husband that needed me and the world was literally going to end if I didn't get the meds that I needed.  I had friends literally accusing me that I didn't need the meds, it was all in my head and I needed to focus more on the spiritual realm if I was going to ever have the upper hand.  To put it plainly my life was a mess.  Several weeks ago I literally I hit a wall.  As I lay there contemplating what my next step was, the word CHANGE reverberated in my brain.  If my life was ever going to make sense I had to change. Now I am not saying that every one who take mental health drugs should insistently stop taking them and try something else, no I am saying in my case I had to find an alternative solution.  In my case it was focusing on my strengths and less on my weaknesses and I needed to stop blaming my mistakes on my illness.  The first thing I did was scoped out a group on FB that was going through similar situation that I was and have them support me. It's a beautiful thing when you realize that you are NOT the only mother of three children who refuse to pick up dirty socks and put them in the hamper.  I was NOT the only mother of three who used the excuses "well I didn't get that out" just to avoid picking up what ever toys maybe lying around.  So with determination set in my jaw I picked myself up from the soap box I was lying on and decided I AM going to define myself as a person NOT as a person with a disability.  Yes the disability will NEVER go away and yes I will always struggle because it's a big part of life; BUT I have things going for me.  I have support from my group members who know I struggle and I know they are standing behind me clapping ALL the way.  It was once said that: "You can't defeat Giants with your mouth shut!" If you are going to defeat your giants than you need to keep your mouth wide open proclaiming your victories of the past which will get you through your present circumstances. Change is inevitable, it's painful, but with my past victories change is accessible, achievable, and SO worth it....I say BRING IT ON!

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Dose of Reality

As a mom my life literally revolves around my nine, six and almost four year old children.  You think I am kidding?  I am sure that any parent with little ones can relate.  There are days when I wish instead of the tooth fairy visiting I could get a cleaning fairy; she could wave her wand and voila EVERY THING could have a home and organized place. However, THAT is NEVER going to happen.  Instead my life starts with a wake up call every morning at 7:45 from one child or another wanting something and then it's trying to wade through the mountain of chaos that ensues literally ALL day or most of it when there isn't school.  Lately I have been desperately trying to get a hand on this because face it one person can live in chaos for only so long.  My husband seems to think that our house should be spotless and literally nothing on the floor. So I began to peruse the internet trying to find other people's ideas on getting organized. It was than that I came across a blog called From Faye, her honesty about her ways of cleaning were not only refreshing, but I also realized that I am NOT the only parent that seems to struggle with staying organized and managing a house hold. So, for ALL the parents that yet haven't aspired the art of perfection, THANK YOU you have given me a much needed DOSE of reality and I can keep moving forward with the hopes that the wind of change is right around the corner.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Depression and Anxiety the silent battle!!!

 Several  weeks ago sadly we lost a wonderful actor who not only had the ability to act out anything, but he also had the ability to make just about any one laugh.  I don't think there was one person who couldn't sit there with a straight face while listening
or watching one of his movies and he will be greatly missed.  I don't mean to sound cruel but it's understandable why he finally decided to commit suicide.  Depression and Anxiety is a silent battle that 90% of the time goes unnoticed or no one really wants to talk about it or deal with it.  I know this because I too struggle with Depression.  Every day is a struggle to even complete a simple task.  Even though I never knew Robin if he dealt with true depression I can relate.  I am sure that he had a ton of friends, fans and even family, but as I have aged I have learned that ALL of those people can be placed into several different categories.  There is the category of those who really care and are constantly contacting you to see if you are okay. There is the category of those who care but are afraid to talk to you because they can't understand the silent battle that you have to face every day and the challenges that come with it. Then there is the category of friends that pretend to care but when you need them the most they can"t be reached or in the end they just don't care, and last there are those that pretend to care, but they talk about you behind your back and are in no way shape or form your friend to begin with. With those I say, I don't need you.  I repeat I only knew Robin through his movies, I can understand the deep need to try to mask the depression that haunts you every day.  Yes, I have three children, a faith in God, and some family and friends that I care about. However, that doesn't make the battle of depression any easier.  Medicine does help but until your family and friends understand the true battle that you are going through even they can't even help you.  I can't tell you how many times I have heard: "Well, you don't need meds you just need a stronger faith in God." While that may be well and good, God is the one who made us and as human as we are sometimes I wonder if, "Is faith in GOD ENOUGH?" YES, GOD mad us, but he also made doctors, and he made scientists.  God also gave these scientists the brain power to create the meds that help fight depression. My last thought is this before you judge a person because they have depression, take a moment to walk in their shoes, a moment to walk in their life. See life through their perspective and ask yourself, Is this person doing this for attention or just maybe this is a silent cry for help; cause I can tell you this 90% of the time people that silently battle depression often think, "well, if I kill myself it will "FIX" it and my problems will end.  I will tell you this, Killing yourself ISN'T the answer. On the contrary, it opens up MORE problems because now the world will have to LIVE without you, and if you have kids, it will make things MUCH worse.  Before you make that permanent life decision do your OWN homework, GET HELP! There are REAL people that want to reach out their hand and help you, there are REAL people that care. Real people that have been where you are at and may have the answers and resources to help you.  It may be too late for Robin Williams, but it's NOT too late for you!
                                                     R.I.P. ROBIN WILLIAMS
                                                 JULY 21, 1955-AUGUST 11, 2014

Thursday, August 21, 2014

To take the pledge or NOT to

Lately I have been seeing people take an "Ice bucket" challenge in the name of ALS, as honerable as this challenge is, I will NOT be perticipating.  I know hold the phone, I understand the rules either donate 10.00 for doing the challenge or 100 if you refuse; before you shoot me down, here me out.  As honerable as this challenge it, the more I watch it, I can't help feel that people have made a mochery of what the challenge is really about. You have people using water buckets, cups and now as of late some one was doing it in the ocean?  While their intentions are well and good I ask myself do they even understand why they are really doing it or are they doing it under peer pressure? I say this because I had a wonderful friend pass away from ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig's disease. As he once stated to me, ALS is almost worse than cancer it can victimise anyone.  As a spectator to ALS it wasn't fun to watch my wonderful friend die a slow painful death.  Every day was a challeng; from eating a simple meal to trying to attempt to go to the bathroom.  Am I saying that the ice challenge is wrong, NO by all means it's honerable, I am saying that if you are doing the challenge DON'T get caught up in all the " Whoo-hoo's I'm doing the challenge, but make sure that your motives are in the right place and you are doing it for the right reason.  ALS is painful and dreadful thing to go through and I wouldn't wish it on anyone let alone myself.  Everytime I hear the word ALS the last conversation I had with Elmer goes through my mind, "You know if I end up going to the hospital, that will be my last.  I will NOT be coming back"  Just like cancer this isn't a disease that you can plan for, after all who plans on dying?

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Are you REALLY ever entitled to it?

How many times have WE all heard, "You're ALWAYS entitled to YOUR opinion?  Really, are we REALLY entitled to our opinion?  I mean think about it.  Your opinion SHOULD be free, and yes we ALL should be entitle to OUR opinion I mean, look at the number one amendment. According to OUR  constitution we DO have the freedom of speech which also concludes having a RIGHT to an opinion, but again I beg to ask are we still entitled to OUR opinion?  Think about it, let's start with the number one opinionated subject that is being faced in America today, Gun Control.  Every one wants to know what YOUR opinion is on Gun control.  If you would walk into a normal town meeting and express your opinion, whether for or against gun control, some would accept you while others may not and would lead to violence.  So, if you are REALLY entitle to your opinion, than why is it that when it's given it's often NOT accepted as an opinion but rather people get angry and violence breaks out???? An opinion is just THAT an Opinion.  It's a matter of thought or belief by a particular person that you may or may NOT share and should be left as JUST that an opinion. One of the things that I am REALLY trying to teach my children is that people are people and just like us THEY have an opinion.  I have always heard that respect isn't something that is given freely it's EARNED.   If that IS the case do you have to EARN the respect to HAVE an opinion?  The sentence"You have to RESPECT the opinion of others," is often thrown at us like a ball in baseball, so why do people more often than not, NOT  respect the opinion of others and learn to walk away?  Instead people share their opinion, get all HOT HEADED, and want to start a fight. Is it REALLY worth the fight when you share YOUR opinion? Words hurt, can leave scars and can even kill so why share an opinion if NO ONE wants to accept it.  As a MOM with A.D.D and a child that has A.D.D. and OTHER behaviors I have been trying to teach myself and my children that EVEN though you ARE entitled to an opinion it's best to KEEP that opinion to yourself until it is either asked of your in a spot where your opinion DOES matter and is accepted peacefully.  So, are you REALLY entitled to your opinion? My answer yes, but there is a TIME and a PLACE for an opinion to be freely given, warranted AND accepted. The hard part is trying to discern WHEN that time occurs and for ME I am still learning, Life IS a learning process.....

Friday, February 15, 2013

The OTHER woman????

It's official that I HATE valentines day which is WHY I am writing about it the DAY after.  My husband and I NEVER really celebrate it only cause I have had a bad history with the "official" day of love.  So, on the DAY before as a family we went to the grocery store where MY significant other decides to HAND me a flower.  Me being the light hearted person that I am start chuckling and making a joke out of it by saying to the clerk: "Yupper's nothing like buying my OWN valentines present." However, when we got home and got things put away, my significant other proceeds to tell me that he didn't buy the flower for me, he bought it for "Samantha." (names changed to protect privacy).  At first I looked at him and said ABSOLUTELY NOTHING for several moments.  Than I asked the question that needed to be asked: "Why?" According  to MY significant other Samantha had been telling the Head/Vice principles as well as MY significant other that she DIDN'T want ANY chocolates, or flowers for Valentines day.  So, as an innocent joke  MY significant other went and bought her a flower.  I have been with my significant other for seven years, and I DO trust him but as a woman I am REALLY struggling with the fact that HE bought  flowers for another  woman, So, to ALL THE WOMAN OUT THERE, WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOUR MAN BOUGHT FLOWERS TO ANOTHER WOMAN??????